bismillah,
Let’s dive really deep in sha Allah and explore the top fears you have in relation to breaking free…
There are a total of 3 questions:
1. What is it you fear and worry the most about that might happen or might be true in your life in relation to pornography and masturbation addiction?
2. What’s the worst case scenario that keeps you up at night that when you think about it overwhelms you?
3. Of all the people in your life who do you want to be the last person to find out about your situation and what do you fear their reaction would be?
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1. i think the one thing that affects me mostly about pornography is to one day have a family and a wife but still stay addicted to pornography.
2. i think the one thing that keeps me up at night would be one day finding a job that i like and pays well, since im a college student and going to graduate soon.
3. i think out of all the people in my life i think the last person or persons would have to be my parents who i have so much respect for.
1. I fear that my sexual experiences once I get married will not be satisfying. I feel like this addiction has ripped the emotion of love and affection right out of my heart. I fear that I would objectify my wife when I get married and have an unfulfilling relationship.
2. Finding a good job, taking the MCAT and getting married. And more worrying is achieving the third objective with this addictive problem. I am almost in a position to get married, however, I am scared that this addiction will have grave and regretful consequences.
3. As the first child among my family and friends to go through high school with top grades and nearly finish bachelors in a respectable field, I am looked upon as a role model for all younger children and by their parents. These people would be the last people I would want to find out about my situation. They view me with such respect and dignity and I fear that this one fatal flaw would crumble my reputation.
1. The belief that this is causing me to fail. Fail myself, fail everyone around me, fail life, fail purpose, fail Allah.
2. Worst case scenario is that I get married, my problem continues, and I drag an unaware Musimah in the mix; who might for some reason believe it is her faulty when it is really my fault.
3. My parents and their disappointment.
or if I get married (my wife) and if for some reason she blames herself
When the blame is always staring back at me in the mirror.
1- fear is porn. actuely porn is not ,that i fear the most, BUT the addiction about masturbation make me pissed off, and i fear that that i have to continu till i get married, but i want to stop it .it is hard. i fear god when i will do it, and when iam doing it i know i have to stop and fear god, but dosent work, and after i am SO angry on myself. and i feel dirty and i pray to say sorry but i know it was worng so i dont know man…
2 – i dont know…
3 – Absolutly my parents. i am pretty honest about these stuff. when i was a bad guy and i wasnt following the islam like a good muslim, i did alot fornication with girls.. and i promis myself that i am stoping this for real. and i stop. and one day i did again :S, and i went home crying, and i said to my parents that i have comit adulter :S :S, they wer really shocked and they tell me to really say sorry to allah because we wont you to go to the hell. so i decide to fast one month, and really i really pray alot alot alot. till today ,but today i got this probleme, that i want to stop and everything will be good till my marriage. may allah protect us from the shytans who scream in our ears the bad words…ameen.
Muslim brother:My problem is that when i was in college,i watched many porn sites and videos.Now my problem is that i want to forget these dirty things,b’coz iam i have become almost a good muslim,means i pray five times a day,i recite quran,but when i go to bed,i can’t sleep,b’coz these things come in my mind and distrub me,i again do the wrong.iam anable to stop thinking of it,why i dont know.i did’nt do any zinnah type wrong thing,but still.plz…suggest me,it will be a kindfull help.jazakallah khair.
1- My fear is that more we move forward, the pornographic culture will keep on getting stronger. I feel the inner struggle one has to go through. I fear my kids in future. If I’m having hard time coping with this dilemma; how will I help them deal with this?
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I worry that this habit of watching porn and masturbating sticks with me in future. Just the thought of it is intimidating.
2- When I think back, I feel like a loser. Me, giving in sooner or later to the habit brings my confidence level down. I wasted time. I could have done so much more instead of watching stupid pictures and videos of naked people than fantasize. These thoughts overwhelm me.
3- I would only want to share this with a person very close to me or someone that can help me and advice me. Like you Zeyad. I don’t expect, at least people of my generation, to react in shock because many of us suffer from this habit. It may even help us talk about the issue more openly.
1-I’m worried that maybe I would “harm” someone else.
2-I got a very bad dream that I’m experienced which is I have raped someone very tragic.After that dream,I noticed,if I didnt do anything about this.The dream might be true.
3-of course my mom,even my age is 2+,on my early age my mom always said that pornography is bad for memories.I very afraid that my mom would be disappointed because of this.
1. What I fear and worry the most is what if someday my family and friends find out that I watch porn. I am a bit addicted to it, however by Allahs grace I pray regularly and most of my friends and family think im a good islamic guy, the truth is im not. I was porn and I cant be a good muslim doing good things and bad things at the same time
2. I really dont know
3. My Mom and Dad
1. What i fear the most is that this addiction will continue the rest of my life, that it might cripple my marriage, my relationship w/ Allah, my professional life and my mental state for good.
2. the worst case scenario is def, letting this porn addiction drive me to commit zina.
3. Parents- they will be devastated.
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p.s. I’m glad u’ve made this forum. I pray myself and others who are plagued with this illness can overcome it inshallah. this has been a problem for me for about 12 years now. it has ruined my social life, spiritual life and many other aspects of my life. This addiction is truly a crutch. But one thing i can say that has helped me is never giving up and always trying my level best to ask for forgiveness right away. the biggest mistake is not the sin, but the fact when you treat the sin lightly.
Brother Zeyad thank u so much for these videos, please keep them coming. May Allah reward u ameen.
1. What is it you fear and worry the most about that might happen or might be true in your life in relation to pornography and masturbation addiction?
- That my parents find out, that I die upon this two faced dispicable state. That I waste the blessings Allah gave me. that instead of giving ‘Izza to the Ummah, I die watching a bunch of lowlifes and w***s who sold themselves, who don’t understand the concept of chastity and purity
2. What’s the worst case scenario that keeps you up at night that when you think about it overwhelms you?
- That years in the future, it comes up, and somebody finds out. Yet why is it that I don’t fear Allah knowing?
3. Of all the people in your life who do you want to be the last person to find out about your situation and what do you fear their reaction would be?
- My beloved mother, she might get a breakdown and be heartbroken with dissappointment
What also disgusts me, is the fact that “porn” is catch-all word that encompasses many dispicable concepts that are just illness. It is natural to be attracted to beautiful women, the bigger problem is one gets desensitized, and slowly but surely gets dragged into unnatural attractions and diseases of the heart – and my biggest fear is that this particular disease sticks with me.
1. The number 1 fear is of being punished in this world (through anything really, whether it be through, impotence, psychological problems, ungrateful progeny, unchaste wife, marriage problems, etc…) before being punished with the greatest punishment in the hereafter.
2. The worst case scenario that keeps me up at night is actually some type of cognitive dissonance in which I think that your indulging in your desires as a youth but you hope to enter paradise in the hereafter. I ask myself, are you a fool?
3. Parents (especially mother). A mother can always forgive, but she may never love me the same anymore.
My wife caught me. I am so embarrased in front of her. Im working away from her now for a couple of months now, and even when im not she thinks i am. I dont know what to do. I pray that Allah forgives me, I hate the people in the videos. I feel so freaking disgusted but i just cant stop. I now try and leave my laptop at work and I wont do it, and i think im over it and it starts again. Sometimes worse. Please give tips on how to stop Inshallah. I didnt know if its ok to talk openly about it because to my understanding, we should conceal our sins, and there is no confession in Islam. Are these wrong assumptions? Thanks jazakallah khairan
1 I fear being cursed by Allah. I fear ending up in Jahanamm because of this addiction. I fear that Allah hates me. I fear losing eemane.
2 The worst scenario is that Allah gives me a bad wife and bad children because of my bad behaviors and the worst scenario is that my addiction continues even if I get married. I fear to see bad things happening to my daughter or my wife because I made my heart and my soul full of this shameful dirts and pictures.
3 The last person I want to know about this is the girl I want to marry
1. i think the one thing that affects me mostly about pornography is to one day have a wife and cant have sex with here because of premature ejaculation
2. i think the one thing that keeps me up at night would be fantasizing about two totally opposite things a woman next to me and the 2nd thing when there is gona be a Muslim war and i wanna be part of it and i wanna die shahid
may be am crazy maybe not
3. i think out of all the people in my life i think no one i have no fear or respect to anyone all people are lairs
1. is to one day have a wife and cant have sex with here because of premature ejaculation
2. fantasizing about two totally opposite things a woman next to me and the 2nd thing when there is gona be a Muslim war and i wanna be part of it and i wanna die shahid
may be am crazy maybe not
3. i think out of all the people in my life i think no one i have no fear or respect to anyone all people are lairs
1. The number 1 fear is of being punished in this world (through anything really, whether it be through, impotence, psychological problems, ungrateful progeny, unchaste wife, marriage problems, etc…) before being punished with the greatest punishment in the hereafter.
2. The worst case scenario that keeps me up at night is actually some type of cognitive dissonance in which I think that your indulging in your desires as a youth but you hope to enter paradise in the hereafter. I ask myself, are you a fool?
3. Parents (especially mother). A mother can always forgive, but she may never love me the same anymore.
1- My fear of pornography in general is displeasing God. It is what makes me feel guilty, sad, lowest of the lowest, and get all the negative feelings. In fact, even though I might be embarrassed when someone catches me, I don’t think I would feel any worse than when I think of Allah watching me
2- Supposedly pornography becomes an attraction to anxious and desperate beings. In general I possess both of those qualities because of maybe my lack of faith since I find it hard to accept the effects of today’s world on what my life could have been. I think if I can accept certain things on a certain depth I can see pornography for what it really is, a bad drug. I don’t know, all I know is that pornography sucks and I feel like a hypocrite when I watch it, besides if I can get rid of it I can get closer to Allah.
3- Even though Allah is the most important being to my life, He already knows. The next closer beings to me are my family, and they don’t know, so them. Even though it is not as embarrassing as Allah knowing. Not even close to long-lasting of an embarrassment..
May Allah strengthen us, give us the courage and the knowledge to overcome this obstacle, the blessings to keep us away, draw us closer to Him, and stand besides us through out the obstacles of this life insha Allah yaaaaaaaaa rab!!!!!!!!
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