To sort of force myself get mentally prepared for Ramadan I wanted to share some of my notes
and put them in free trainings with you the week before Ramadan comes in.
Now from what I’ve observed a lot of brothers aren’t making it completely through Ramadan
without acting out or slipping back to pornography and I want to really know what’s going
on “behind the scenes”.
If that’s been your experience, please take the time to share your story with me here and
mention to me what some of the recurring challenges or frustrations that pop up for you
that you think cause you to slip back to pornography or masturbation.
Twitter
Youtube
Facebook
Brother i have to say that i have followed all of your video’s and everything but sadly i was unable to signed for your program due to the strong lack of finances to become a member on my part. but at the same time i have turned to Allah for help and guidance now thanks to you knowing that there are others like me who are struggling and if you have looked into the news a high ranked commander in the coast guard has been fired due to the discovery of him watching porn on a government computer which show how his addiction have harmed him in his career and how his addiction had to be for years and not a new habit to his life style. so as a result, i have gathered all my strength to better myself and prepare for Ramadan, i have been 2 weeks free (which is the most i have ever been_) and ISA i would never return to this bad habit ever again. so i want to say thank you and i hope that all Muslims and non-Muslims who are trying to recover that god would guide you to help them and to better themselves.
as-salamu ‘alaykum,
Well one of my main goals is not to turn to porn for the whole month. I think last ramadhan I relapsed a couple of times, but it wasn’t as bad as the one previous to it.
Also, pray all the 5 salaats on time, and read qur’an with tafsir.
@Adam: Mabrook on your achievement ma sha Allah! In case, you do fall, there’s no such thing as failure, it’s a learning process all along the way for everyone involved.
Now this is addressed to both Adam and & an addict, both of you didn’t answer the original question
When it comes to Ramadan what typically happens or pops that makes it a challenge for you to make it all 30 days without a relapse?
Brother Adam, let me first congratulate you for being sober for two weeks. This is a sign that your recovery is approaching insha’Allah. As Ramadan is just few weeks away, i am also preparing myself for this Holy month. Last Ramadan was great for me as i managed to abstain from anything that would trigger my addiction or anything to do with lust. At first it was hard but with time i managed to get through it. I was the happiest person on earth. I was proud. My self-esteem was up high in the sky. For answering Zeyad’s question, i think one of the things that made me double my efforts last Ramadan was fear of Allah – I mean specially for this Holy month as Allah asked us to do this month for Him . Another great factor which helped me stay strong was my friends. We used to meet regularly at night helping each other to be good muslims.
Being around people who want to better themselves is very important to overcome this addiction. One of Zeyad’s videos i have watched talked about the importance of group therapy which i completely agree with. From my experience whenever i talked about my sexual sins my sexual urges decreases.
So try to find some people who you can share your struggles with. I know it is not easy but i am sure you will find some people who you can relate to in that sense. By the way Adam we can keep in touch and share our experiences during the Holy month Insha’Allah.
I just relapsed yesterday after 31 days of not watching porn and masturbating. I feel ashamed and I repent to Allahswt for it, but at the same time I went a whole month without watching porn and masturbating. In some way it is quite a success for me because that was my goal before coming to this site, I feel there is some progress I made thus far but I was never able to reach that goal in such a along time but i did it with your help. Next goal not to masturbate and watch porn more than a month I hope Allahswt can make it easier for me and for the brothers who are having problems with this. Despite of relapsing, I did not delete my browsing history, but I deleted the google search toolbar though but that’s just lying to myself. Br.Zeyad can you provide a set of words of inspiration that will make me think twice of relasping? Jazzah Kallah Khair
As salam U alaikum.
To answer your question Br.Zeyad, What pops out to cause me to masturbate and watch porography is constant mental images in my mind of women on the internet or on T.V. Just yesterday after 31 days feeling the widthdrawls kicking in right after praying fujr I could not take it anymore. I took a deep breath, went to straight to bed but still had that feeling of sexual tension tried to fight it off as much as I can but then I said listen you have completed 31 days of not masturbating in my mind I feel I have succeed but my mind was filled extacy of women and pornograpy which triggered me to masturbate and watch porn. I was not happy with myself but needed my fix after 31 days of not doing it. Sorry if I was too graphic but I.A. I hope I’m helping other brothers in their progress sharing my story.
Salaam Alaikum to all –
No doubt the biggest challenge is for one to refrain himself from his urges. Last Ramadan I went to do umrah early in the month and sought forgiveness for the times I had masturbated and promised God never to do it again. However I came back and after a couple of days I relapsed – I felt so full of guilt as if I had thrown my life away and rebelled my Lord that whole night I wasn’t feeling well – dizzy,headache and emotionally paralysed.
But Alhumdulillah – after watching your videos by the Will of God, this time won’t be the same
Also there are verses which all of us should keep in mind who have sinned greatly and in times of difficulties:
”Say: “O ‘Ibâdî (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allâh, verily, Allâh forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
And turn in repentance and in obedience with true Faith (Islâmic Monotheism) to your Lord and submit to Him (in Islâm) before the torment comes upon you, (and) then you will not be helped ”. (39,53-54)
and
”As for those who strive hard in Us (Our Cause), We will surely guide them to Our paths (i.e. Allâh’s religion – Islâmic Monotheism). And verily, Allâh is with the Muhsinûn (good-doers)”. (29,69)
@ Brother Zeyad
What I do want you to explain is when the victim faces the desperate moment of urges, the mind wants that quick fix (like you said) and it’s like every wall around you closes in and traps you and you suddenly see nothing but darkness. And your greed takes control of your intellect and you feel like you have been possessed by evil. And the victim knows that the act he’s going to do is wrong and sinful something that he has concluded from his intellect. But its exactly the intellect which is not there at that moment or very little of it that prevents you from refraining it.
So its about what a victim can do to prevent atleast his greed not hijacking his intellect. I believe by doing that and by the Will of God one can break free from it